Foster care has been such an amazing, humbling experience and we’ve only been in it five months. These five months I’ve learned more about myself than I ever thought and I’ve gained the cutest kid that I’m totally obsessed with! Throughout our experience I have chosen to be as open as I can be to bring awareness to the need of foster parents. I asked on social media a few weeks ago what questions people had about foster care and decided to make a blog post answer as much as I could!
***I will pre-face that some of these answer will vary on the state you live in. Each state has different legal requirements or procedures with the foster care system. These answers are based on the state of Idaho.
How long does it take before a child becomes available for adoption?
Probably the most asked question! This depends entirely on each case and Termination of Parental Rights (TPR) must happen in order for a child to be available to adopt. In Idaho, they are blunt and very thorough if parents aren’t making even baby steps in the case plan, it’s time to find other solutions and permanency for the children. There are case that a house is unsafe for children so parents just need to clean or fix their home which could only take a few days or weeks. Other cases many involve drugs which require a sober period of time. There are so many different cases such as abuse, neglect, drugs, illness, incarcerations, or death of a parent. It’s not always that parents have made mistakes. Sometimes they just need someone’s help and they don’t have a support system so the foster care system is what they have to rely on.
Why can’t you say his real name? Does your family get to know his real name?
For privacy reasons, we can’t say his real name on social media which is why we gave him the nickname “Smalls”. We’ve had a few people ask if we got to name him since we got him straight from the hospital and we did not. Anyone who meets Smalls in person knows his name. Foster kids still have regular lives going to school, church, sports, etc where everyone knows who the kids are. While I wouldn’t be as vocal with older kids, I’ve decided to be vocal with Smalls to bring awareness to the need for foster parents. I would not be posting photos or showing as much of our lives with him to keep his life more private since he would have his own life to live and continue and I would never want to embarrass a child.
Is adoption free if you’ve fostered the child or if a child is in foster care?
Adoption out of foster care is usually free or very inexpensive, (under $1,000 compared to the $30,000 for private adoption). The foster care system is very open about the realities of foster care which mean majority of the time (over 70%) kids are reunited with their biological parents or other family steps in. Because adoption isn’t as common, they are blunt in foster care classes that adoption shouldn't be the goal.
I will add my two cents on this, since most kids don’t have a voice, I will always speak up for our kids and advocate for what’s best for each of them which may not always be biological family. That’s a huge reason I got into foster care to start with was to advocate for kids.
What is the process for getting a child? Can you say no?
After you’re licensed, you’re put on essentially a call list. Once a child comes into the foster care system they check the requirements, (ages, gender, behavior issues, etc.) and call those who fit in the criteria. We received two calls prior to Smalls that we didn’t feel would be the best fit for our family so we said no. You can always say no if you don’t feel you have the resources needed, or even if you just don’t think an age or gender would fit your family dynamics.
How do I get started if I want to be a foster parent or just want more information?
If you are in Idaho, I recommend an information meeting! Here’s a page with info about becoming a foster parent. Information meetings for Idaho can be found here. Feel free to email me or message me if you have ANY questions! I love talking about foster care!
How long does it take to become licensed?
We were licensed within 4 months! We tried to get our license as quickly as possible because we felt very prompted to do it right away. Jake’s schedule allowed us to do the fast track classes which helped us get licensed quickly.
Feel free to message me if you ever are curious about fostering or just have a few questions about it! I sincerely love talking about foster care!
